Iv just been dumped

I've just been dumped its not the first time the second or the third but it still hurts all the same just like the first time he dumped me .sometimes it's when we're face to face but some times it's over the phone . This time It was over the phone . It's my fault ... He make me feel that way . I did it I don't give him space he says . Your eyes tear up your throat becomes dry and this feeling plunges from your chest into your stomach and you can do noting but cry and coil over . I try phoning him  but he shouts and shouts he hangs up, I know from experience there's nothing I can do he is in charge If I want him I have to wait until he wants me this can take time he's taken a week he's taken days sometimes just hours but somehow he always makes up with me after he's had what he calls his stress reliever . I beg him every time not to do it because I won't come back to him but who am I kidding I will have him back In a heart beat . The only problem is he scars me mentally each time he's taking a little more strength and confidence I had away from me . Why can't men understand I have gave him my all ,yet that's not good enough .he takes advantage of my heart and squishes it with his fists he takes my tears and turns them into acid . The thoughts run through your head what could I have done differently what should I do why did I do that but it's no use there's nothing you could have changed . I won't sleep tonight but he will . I won't eat tonight but he will. He says I'm being dramatic Im just a women with a broken heart I'm just a women who's been dumped . I can't do nothing to get him out my head all I want is for the words that came out to be un said . I sing and I write this is the only way through , but sometimes even that not eneough . One day, I don't know when I will find someone new he will never let me go and treat everyday as it was new , that's a lie it won't come true .  What should I do I ask my self shall I cut him off and leave my love or shall I stay like all the other times being hurt said and damaged . His words haunt me at night. If we get back together we argue and it all comes back , everything he's ever called me or the ways he's treated me sinks into mind but this is just my conscience thoughts have you ever thought what might be in the unknown. My heart will wonder as well as my mind ill study as before but won't be able to unwind . I guess Iv decided to wait once more I don't want to throw my love for you away as easy as your doing and as you have done before.

Dear worksops cyber bully's

A community they say worksop is no community the girls attack girls because of jealousy and because they think its the only way to be "popular" the boys fight or pick on boys who think there not in the same league  as them , they say its a page to show what people are really like even though more than half of these people are lovely kind people who are nothing what you've said of them in fact the opposite your attempt to show what people are like Is a poor judgement and because you have no real truth and have nothing better to do because your probably living in worksop with nothing and you've not got looks or real friends or maybe a family who appreciates you , you have nothing better to do then belittle people with false accusations and lies,  but you are just a lie everything about you is a lie and this will be the only thing you ever "achieve " out of life because your mind is too small to do anything else with your life and you won't ever change your childish pathetic ways to  upset or hurt people so you feel better , obviously who evers has helped out this rating system is also as thick and stupid for going along with it but then again I can't really say I expect any different from half the people I know who's got evolved in spreading such lies ! But keep going because while those who think this is awesome are also as thick as pig shit but those who pity this pathetic page of lies will actually have triple the power and intelligence you will ever have I wish you luck in later life because I know all of you will need it. now I'm choosing to ignore the post about me because if it was in-correct it might of been worth taking to court because what you are doing is serious cyber bullying on a page and I'm sure the police would love to know about this but what's the point because its not true and you probably will end up sent to them one day anyway so sleep well with the guilty conscious of failure ! Your a cyber bully and a lie 

Little girl

When I was a little girl I used to look up at the blue blue sky and then I grew up to the world and found the man of my life 

He had a band and a smile that shone through his music like stars in the night 

His eyes were green and blue but in the sun I never knew which one was right 

And we took each others hand down the road oh how hearts sparkled like a pot of gold

We were starting a beginning  into our new life  like caterpillars that

 Blossom into butterflies

Matthews poem

Matt I'm in love with you 

From your hair particles to your toes

From your toes to the bedroom ceiling 

I love you

I love your noise your groans your moans

And your fit body in clothes 

I love your laugh your tash and the way you try to make mash 

You play guitar like slash you look so flash 

And even with no cash your my wonder man

Alphabeti spaghetti in can

I couldn't ask for more than that

I love you

I could have rich

I could have cars

I could have a guy with every kind of charm

But as long as you hold me in your arms 

Ill stay faithful and calm

Ill be yours as long as you want me 

Ill open my heart up for you and give you the key

I love you so so much I hope you can see

If I have to prove it ill just make you tea

I love you so much 

I'm in love with you 

Take my hand till I'm old 

Love me till I'm gone and fold 

Ill give you my soul 

I love you from the bottom of my heart

and from the last electrons In my brain 

I know I'm the biggest pain

But put up with me because I'm worth it love

Your best friend

Your girl friend

Your true love 

Yours truly 

I'm in love with you 

Shannon your mac 

When we fell out I wrote this

Dear Matthew Edward flood

i am writing to  let you know, i have loved you for a very long time and I will love you for a lot lot longer IV spent ages trying to put feelings as poetically and as beautifully as I can  and I will write many more ... :) because I love you xx 

the first time i met you my stomach was lifted into my throat , i wanted to listen and absorb your idea’s regardless what comes out x i love you. even if you never love me back… i will love you. i hope that when you’re laying in bed at night and you feel like no ones there you think of me because ill be there in your heart and ill never go because I love you matt. I want to move in with you. Because I feel sad when I’m not with you and I can't sleep when your not there I want a future with you because I know we're meant to live together and spend our lives with each other no matter what it throws at us ,  I want a family because I know you will be just like my dad but better and if you can compare the love I feel for him you can't be doing wrong because I feel this love and more . Your talented in ways I wish I could be you make me so proud and happy when I see you play and sing , when you laugh it's like no other person had mad me feel so warm and bubbly inside for the first time but when your sad I feel your pain like and I only long to make you feel better .i will try my hardest through everything and even when I am  ratty and moody or your ratty and moody or we fight and yell I will promise to never give up after where don to apologise and make up because I don't want to ever loose you just sometime I say stupid things and I get mardy for no reason but if you hold on Ill come back round and be the women you loved from the start your mac xx you think I’ll get bored of you, you think I’ll want you to entertain me all the time. But I wont. I want to be in the room next door to you and tap Morse Code against the wall ... That was a joke but still ill be right there I promise matt. I want to slip long lover letters under your door. I want to make you tea and egg sarnies in the morning . And wake up with you holding me :) xI'm not scared of being alone matt I'm scared of being out of love and ill do anything to be with you forever in love . I  could be in a room full of people naked men in front of me   or women and the only guy I'd see would be you , I can't put everything down that I feel or have in my head and I don't have forever because forever would be the time it would take to write and Finnish this dis functional letter but I do have the rest of my life and if you share your life with mine I promise to make every day count and to love you for everyday I'm with you and for the rest of my life xxxx I love you matt I really do and I will never ever doubt you ever ever again I'd be stupid to loose you I can see you love and care for me if your eyes don't show me that then your heart definitely   does xxxx I was taken back by your smile and  the words you spoke .  you’re beautiful and i never think differently . i love you and i hope i get the chance to tell you for the rest of my life ... Matthew Edward flood will you spend the rest of your life with me because I sure want you forever xxxxxxx

Your stupid girlfriend  and hopefully your partner for life xxxx

Shannon summer rose xxxx

Matthew

Matthews poem

Matt your always wearing a hat 

Like your hiding away from the truth 

Yet I know you inside out

And I have no doubts

That are love can be true .

My eyes are brown 

Your eyes are green and your sometimes mean 

But I can take it and be as cruel 

Just a difference seen by the eye but inside we're as warm as pie .

Your heart is warm so it seems 

Like mine but now it has a seam 

I can change within range 

But you have to take my hand and understand 

This battle will fail because I am female and you are only one man 

I'd sail the world for one last chance come with me to the frog and have a dance 

Open your heart and have a fart 

I don't care just don't treat me like some tart 

We loved once let's love again 

I won't hurt you ever I make this promise 

I know I made mistakes and so have you let's make a new start 

Instead of being apart and see us through

Now my names Shannon and I love you 

We are hunny bun and chicken pie 

Sounds like a lovely stew 

Will you take my offer and become a world wide recipe ill let you be the cook 

And ill be the book binding our pages full of lovely memories 

Your my rock star my hero my lover 

Love Shannon 

I'm hurt and only I will ever know the pain that is held within my brittle skin , my heart is torn every time I think of what you've said or how these words come to be. The movement you make at the sight of my tears makes me become weak through your actions,  but I became stronger In wanting you , I long for your love, but if only I had that long . My mind is in it's own battlefield when you make me feel so worthless, is this love or am I being shaded into the dark and have forgotten my own morals . I said I'd do anything but was I born to be your keeper your pet your punch bag. Maybe it's me maybe I want what's now never seems to be , maybe I'm delusional and just being erratic maybe Iv changed you and made you into this monster then maybe I should bound myself away and be lonely because I don't want to take anymore love from your heart that you once could give  . I was ready to give you my life my everything my heart but how can I when all I'm left with is disrespect, lies and a lack of trust , my head melts into my heart with the thoughts of what has once happened , yet I'd be able to move forward if the situation would change. I fear the worst for you but you will always see different is this just a waiting game , a heart stabbing crush a line of death and a swallow of what I hate . If I was to never speak up would I become someone in fear or would I make you happy , all I want is to make you happy somehow that happiness is floating away sometimes I feel like a wave and your the sail boat and the more I speak the more you drift . 

You used to look at me in a way I never thought was possible your eyes gleamed and your smile became empowering and so my love was captured into your hands , you used to make me feel like it was us against the world against anything ,  thought you was going to stay forever but now the amount of walks you have taken have swayed my ideas. I wish I knew you'd always be there I wish I knew our love would be enough but somehow I can't help thinking that I will now never have that love to keep you , maybe that's selfish but if all I want is you I can only try to keep you but what if that's not what you want. The funny thing is it was never like this I never had been the one to say I love you or want someone , you changed me you showed me what love is and that one person is all you need to change you , Iv never wanted to make someone as happy as I want to make you . I have never wanted somebody else to be above and better than me . i have never wanted to let go of everything to see another ok but you I'd give you my last breath my last piece of strength . I love you no matter what has happened or what is to come , we've stayed together so far so why isn't that enough maybe we are just  trying for what may never be but we don't know unless we keep going and love into the future  and have a past a history and lots of great memories . We've both made mistakes and many more are to come but if this holiday proves to be something that you once loved so dearly will you be my soul mate my lover my future and my present and the person who is going to devote all his strength and power and heart to me just like I am giving you , from the bottom of my heart I love you, will you be there for me will you love me will you always try . Love Shannon