Iv just been dumped

I've just been dumped its not the first time the second or the third but it still hurts all the same just like the first time he dumped me .sometimes it's when we're face to face but some times it's over the phone . This time It was over the phone . It's my fault ... He make me feel that way . I did it I don't give him space he says . Your eyes tear up your throat becomes dry and this feeling plunges from your chest into your stomach and you can do noting but cry and coil over . I try phoning him  but he shouts and shouts he hangs up, I know from experience there's nothing I can do he is in charge If I want him I have to wait until he wants me this can take time he's taken a week he's taken days sometimes just hours but somehow he always makes up with me after he's had what he calls his stress reliever . I beg him every time not to do it because I won't come back to him but who am I kidding I will have him back In a heart beat . The only problem is he scars me mentally each time he's taking a little more strength and confidence I had away from me . Why can't men understand I have gave him my all ,yet that's not good enough .he takes advantage of my heart and squishes it with his fists he takes my tears and turns them into acid . The thoughts run through your head what could I have done differently what should I do why did I do that but it's no use there's nothing you could have changed . I won't sleep tonight but he will . I won't eat tonight but he will. He says I'm being dramatic Im just a women with a broken heart I'm just a women who's been dumped . I can't do nothing to get him out my head all I want is for the words that came out to be un said . I sing and I write this is the only way through , but sometimes even that not eneough . One day, I don't know when I will find someone new he will never let me go and treat everyday as it was new , that's a lie it won't come true .  What should I do I ask my self shall I cut him off and leave my love or shall I stay like all the other times being hurt said and damaged . His words haunt me at night. If we get back together we argue and it all comes back , everything he's ever called me or the ways he's treated me sinks into mind but this is just my conscience thoughts have you ever thought what might be in the unknown. My heart will wonder as well as my mind ill study as before but won't be able to unwind . I guess Iv decided to wait once more I don't want to throw my love for you away as easy as your doing and as you have done before.